Poor Jessica Simpson. Poor, poor Jessica Simpson. On Sunday, she suffered an awe-inspiring fashion meltdown at 99.9 KISS Country's annual Chili Cookoff in Pembroke Pines, Fla., thanks to an igly (definition: several steps beyond ugly) pair of high-waisted jeans, the likes of which haven't marred the sartorial landscape since this hiked-up disaster from a couple years back. The countrified starlet's Urkel-inspired ensemble, with its dastardly powers to destroy instead of enhance her curves, drew a quick reaction from armchair critics, who denounced her tragic trousers as mom jeans and maternity wear, leading mothers and stork-awaiting women everywhere to scoff that they'd never wear anything so monumentally unflattering. Simpson seemed in great spirits despite being shoehorned into her clothes, with escape impossible due to her ill-advised leopard-print double belt. "I am going to see my boyfriend tonight!" she bubbled to the nearly 30,000-strong crowd about her plans to rendezvous in Dallas with her Cowboys quarterback beau, Tony Romo (via People). Later, she introduced her Romo-centric song "You're My Sunday" by gushing, "My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays. I am sooo happy!"

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