A Curse or A Lesson To Be Learn

Posted by Wayne | Monday, June 26, 2006


Why is it I’m always hurt when it comes to love? Am I cursed? What have I done? When will this end? I believed I’ve been good in my past relationships. Why is it that when I love, people wont love me in return nor love me the same love I showed to them? Is it really true that when "Loving someone can give us the greatest joy we can ever know but it can also hurt us more than we can ever believe. If we love someone we should be ready to experience not only happiness but heartache as well. That's the reward and risk that it takes. Unless we are willing to experience it, we will never really know what it's like to love and be loved?" Damn, please not all the time. I need a break. All I need is a real LOVE, a love that makes me inspired, a no worry life. I want a special someone who I can call my own and be proud with confidence and security. God, is that person alive or unborn yet? Am I asking too much? Just want a REAL LOVE. And am I ugly? I don’t see my parents as ugly or my siblings. No one is ugly, beauty lies from within. I have qualities for sure people can admire. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right person. I always tell myself not to look for love but we all need love, I long for it. Love for parents and friends are different my dear readers. Sigh! Hope that person will come into my life as soon as possible. If you’re there please don’t make me wait. Maybe, the problem behind is me being old-fashioned. My close friends always told me to use my mind in love, but I am so stubborn making me hurt always in the end. Sex is just sex, come on! You can find sex anywhere and anytime, as what other people say, trust me. But sex with love? I don’t think so. So is it my fault to be old-fashioned? Should I stop being conservative to find my special someone? And be open-minded of what our world is having now? Help, anyone? But if I am really destined to be like this, well, God, I have to accept since You are the author of my life. Hence, I will never close my door whoever knocks upon it. God helps those who help themselves, right?

To those people who hurt me, FUCK YOU! You all don’t deserve my love. Anyway, I don’t want to hold grudges since its useless. It will only destruct my happy life. Past is past. Besides, I’ve learned a lot from you all and been part of my life. Thanks for the memories; for sure it will be keep, as I grow old. "In life, dont think about the pain we went thru, but the lesson it taught, not how much we cried and hurt , but how we SMILED and LOVED". Smile Wayne, smile!

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