Maintaining romance in a long-term relationship takes planning and creativity. It’s not just enough to say “I love you” every so often. You and your partner need to work at keeping the romance alive. If you both make the commitment to maintain the romance, it will lead to a more satisfying, loving relationship for both of you.
1. Talk to your partner about your relationship. If you have trouble getting started, there are many self-help books available or you could go to a counselor. No matter how you get started, having an open conversation with your partner about your relationship is key.
2. Create a list of what you each want in your relationship, such as more sex, time away from the kids, and more affection. Then determine how you can achieve those goals. If you or your partner want some time away from the kids, figure out together how to make it happen, such as arranging for the kids to stay overnight at a relative’s house. If you or your partner want more sex, look at the week and schedule it in. This may not sound very romantic but you can lead up to the night with flowers, love notes, and the anticipation of being together. You may need to rearrange things on the calendar to fit in your night together but if it is important to you and your partner, you will make the time.
3. Create another list of things you would enjoy doing together, such as a candlelight dinner, sitting in the hot tub, watching a romantic movie, taking a walk at night or going dancing. Choose something from the list to start with and do it.
4. Remember that romance is ongoing, but be realistic. No one can be romantic all the time, but a little can go a long way.
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