FRIENDSHIP

Friendship, this word has been taken for grant far too many times. When most of us think or speak of friendship, we rob of its rich emotional value. This is partly because we use language loosely. We say that so-and-so is "a friend of mine" when what we mean is that he or she is an acquaintance or an associate or a companion. Aristotle defined friends as "a single soul dwelling in two bodies". Friendship has been exalted by philosopher’s way back as the highest form of relationship people can create. Imagine two people from entirely different worlds, being joined in intimacy and mutual benevolence, independent of sexual or family love. This wonderful gift, as poets would call it, cuts through all boundaries- societal, biological, familial or cultural. Friendship is not institutionalized. Its something two people really create. That’s what makes it more interesting.

What makes a true friend? You laugh and cry together, bail each other out and prop each other up. You cant always put it into words, but you can put it into deeds. Indeed, having a friend gives us such a wonderful feeling. Its almost impossible not to love someone who makes us feel cherished and special. There’s something very therapeutic about a close friendship - revealing yourself to and being understood and accepted by another person. At one time or two, our friends might not have come up to our expectations. But friendship is a matter of give and take in everyway, including all allowances that must be made for each other's lapses. We are obliged by the nature or our relationship to accept our friends as they are, flaws and all. This is good since it teaches us the valuable lesson that even we are not perfect. If a friend with whom we share so many characteristics have many faults, it follows that we must have a few of our own. Loyalty is also one virtue everybody looks for a friend. You can only tell if a person is a real friend if he or she stands by you in times of distress. A true friend sees you through when others see that you are through. One controversial test of loyalty is reputation. Say a friend is charged with a disgraceful crime: Would you insist his innocence at the risk of your reputation in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary? Say he is convicted: Would you continue to uphold your friendship no matter what people might say? NO one can keep a friendship alive without practicing consideration. But how do caring friends do that for each other?

Wayne's 5 points that he believes are the glue that holds close friendship together:

1.) DONT BE ENVIOUS.
- We affirm our friends by taking pleasure in there achievements by sharing their joy, by expressing delight in the good things that happen to them, rather than downplaying their good fortune, being envious or not responding.

2.) EXPRESS THAT LOVE
- Friends need to express, in words and deeds, their affection for each other - often as possible.

3.) RESPECT EACH OTHER
- This is one of the most important things in any form of relationship. You accept a friend's opinions, you may disagree on really important things and you may even argue. But you don’t devalue your friend, or his/her beliefs. You accept his/her ideas and feelings whether you like it or not. Respect also takes the form of sitting patiently with a friend who needs to cry, without saying "that's enough" or "snap out of it".

4.) VALUE YOUR FRIEND
- This means listening to friend or doing things for him or her even when you have other things to do. It’s giving up something for the other person, so the person feels valued.

5.) OFFER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
- It means listening to a friend's conflicts and dilemmas and being willing to make suggestions, but not being annoyed if he or she doesn't solve his or her problems or take your advice. An emotional supportive friend would say: "I know it’s a difficult decision, and you'll decide when you’re ready. This is what I think I'd do if I were you, but I respect whatever decision you make".

The only way to have a friend is to be one. To be a friend in the classical sense is not easy. There are sacrifices to be made in attempting to raise our friendships to their highest potential state. But the fortunate part of it is that friendship is one of the few human pursuits that make sacrifice a pleasure.